So Much for Giving Up.

We sat around in our customary circle and stared in silence. These silences that always pervade the room, whilst everyone pauses to think of what to say and how to say it. These silences, where we contemplate the gravity of the situation, where we contemplate the situation in general. These silences, that have become as much a part of our meetings as our conversations are. A general air of tiredness has hung over all our meetings recently. Less words are being said, more sitting sombrely under the blanket of each individual's tumult of emotions. The words just don't come. They do not come like they used to. Each individual knew what was going on, each knew but had not the energy to address it in words. And thus we sit in silence, hands wrapped around warm mugs; surveying the woodgrain of the table, the plush fabric of the couches and the graceful curve of the arm chairs.

I could not understand for one how things managed to take a plunge and nosedive into even more bizarre territories. The confusion and disbelief held my tongue and though I wished to start the conversational ball rolling, there was nothing that could be said that would just roll out without being caught first in the ether when there is a dosconnectivity between thoughts and vocabulary. I found myself in such states then, wanting to say something, anything but not being able to find the right words for it. Or the energy to just blather out something less adequate.

"So you've managed to get yourself into quite another fix again have you," Mademoiselle mused dryly, drawing from her stick. The smoke lingered in the air of the bright and cheerful room, obscuring slightly the sight of her in that severe, black military coat and shiny high heeled boots.

Missy just sighed heavily in response.

Yeah, my sentiments exactly. I considered the situation from my regular seat on the arm chair with my hands together and fingers steepled under my bottom lip. There were no outbursts of expression, no waving of arms and loud voices, but my mind was reeling at the turn of events. Sometimes, even I couldn't defend poor Missy.

"So much for giving up eh," I chuckled wryly as I tiredly rubbed my brows and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"You stupid, stupid girl," Mademoiselle intoned, leaning back on her armchair.

Mademoiselle was right, it was indeed phenomenal. And throughly unfortunate, unfortunately. Although we have long suspected that Missy's influence could not be reigned in, not by conventional means; not by conscious means even. It would seem rather foolish to even try.

"This never should've happened in the first place. They were nothing to us. Nothing." Mademoiselle spat violently. I had to agree with her.

"How could this have happened?" I reeled. "It doesn't make any sense. I completely did not see this coming."

Missy just sat and stared sadly into the distance. "You know I can't help it," she said. "I'm sorry."

"That's why I've always said. It does not do to have any sort of regard for people whatsoever. Nobody on this earth deserves it and we are all better off not caring one bit about anyone. And I am right of course," Mademoiselle announced. "You Missy darling, you're just looking for trouble."

"Well that is rather extreme don't you think," I mediated softly. "Although I cant deny that this case wouldn't be the perfect example for my argument..."

Mademoiselle shrugged her shoulders and exhaled in that arrogant manner of hers, all cold steel and ice. Missy looked imploringly at me, her gaze soft and gentle, but also filled with turbulence.

"Well girls, it would seem that there's nothing we can do about this now, it's done. I for one am surprised as fuck that things have turned out this way. But there is nothing to it now," I shrugged. Taking a swig out of my mug, I looked around at the sombre faces to my left and right and sighed. So much for giving up.