Check Points.

I am not the most spiritual of people. Or perhaps I am. Rather, spiritual enough. What if fate and circumstance really are intertwined? And that it is true all that happens is for a reason and it all leads you to the one path you were meant to take. The main highway of your course in life.

I have believed for some time now that taking Law in the UK is a course in life that I must take. A check point in this journey that I cannot bypass to move on to the next stage. And that is why no matter how many detours I have taken, I found myself coming back again to the same place, on the same path towards taking a Law degree in the United Kingdom. My journey began there. I have no idea what cause and what purpose it could serve, what reasons there could be that it is so important I do this one thing. But perhaps my journey has not ended yet. Perhaps there are more check points to come and I am being shepherded by the good Lord from one to another because it does stand to reason that if there is one, there would be others.

It had not occured to me that there are more stops I must make along this road. But then the air turned sour and the cold bitter. Maybe my stint in this city is up and my next stop is to be a different city in this country.

They say that everything happens for a reason, and when it was time for me to leave for Europe, all the things that held me back in the East fell away. They hurt of course, they caused pain in their leaving. But perhaps it was necessary for me to make that move. And maybe now the same is happening again. When all that holds me back here falls away and the streets start becoming haunted for me. This is a time of reckoning. And we are but toy boats, pushed around on the waves.

I have sat up on nights, praying that I be given guidance, praying for a sign; what should I do. Perhaps this is the sign that I was asking for. That it was time to move on and perhaps consider a new life in a new and different city. Perhaps that is the next stop I must make in this life and all that has occured ushers me onwards there.

I would not lie, even though this city has lost most of its charm for me, I will be anguished to part with it. There is something here that when I leave must be left behind. An imprint of my time here. And after all the madness and all that has occured, it feels like shedding a skin. Necessary but you will miss it and to a certain extent will be loathe to part with it. No one knows if it is true that I must leave to meet my next stop. That still remains to be seen. But stay or go, I will miss this place or I will be displaced in my time here. Stay or go I will be giving myself a new chance or I will be uprooting myself once again. Stay or go, it pretty much is the same thing and I am indifferent.