Mademoiselle's "System".

"You're looking chic as usual, Mademoiselle."

"But of course! I AM Mademoiselle. There must've been a reason you decided to call me that."

"Not quite the reason you had in mind."

"I know. But nevertheless," she waved casually from the armchair she was lounging on.

Mademoiselle you do fascinate me sometimes.

I earned another interesting snippet from her today and it struck me as well, interesting.

Mademoiselle says.

You know for some reason, I am harsher in my opinions and less forgiving to the people I do care about compared to the people I don't care about. I am less forgiving of their character, I tend to think the worst of them instead of the best and the concept of the benefit of the doubt? Practically non-existant when it comes to them.

... Ok... Uh... Why?

Oh you know, it makes perfect sense once I explain it to you. You'll see. It's because the people I care about can actually hurt and disappoint me. So I see the worst in them so that I won't be too nastily surprised just in case it does happen. Expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed, so they say.

Ok... But are you sure that works with uh... people?

Of course! The same principle applies. I think the worst of them. If there is an incident and anything even hints at it being an indication of bad character, then I take that option and I choose to believe that more than "seeing the good in them" and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Because you never know. If they are really like that or not. So I don't want to be disappointed. *she looks away with a bit of a faraway look* I don't like to be disappointed.

... I can't afford to be wrong about that. I can't afford to be "misled". *Then she clicks Seamus open and said*. It's safer this way.

Oh come on Mademoiselle, that's quite unfair you know. Nobody likes to be seen that way. Nobody likes to have someone think the worst of them and mistake their intentions for something negative. It's quite hurtful.

I know. But they never have to know. I keep my opinions to myself and I am a very good actress when it comes to things like that. That's just for me to live by.

It can show.

It can and it has. But screw it. They can take it. *Again the vacant look* It's not so big a deal really. That's just my system.

... ... ...

So, if you see me being very forgiving about someone character, thinking the best of them and giving them all the benefit of the doubt, which I usually am, it actually means I don't really give a shit about them. *smiles* So even if I turn out to be wrong... *apathetic shrug* Nyeh.

Well... Well.... *crickets chirping* WELL... That's a very interesting point of view you've got actually. I gotta say. It's... interesting.

I know. Isn't it cool? *nonchalantly sips chai*

There was a silent moment then.

"Although..." she says suddenly, slowly, running her fingers in circles around the rim of her cup. "It doesn't mean that I don't have the capacity to love you know. I do."

Well that's a good thing Mademoiselle. :) Sometimes people do stuff and say stuff that may make them seem like something, but the truth can be something else. They may not actually be lying. Mademoiselle isn't. They're being truthful. But sometimes, the truth can be a little bit more complicated. Like Mademoiselle's system as discussed above.

Contemplative moment over, she suddenly looked at me.

"You're not gonna write about this are you?" "It's not good for my image. This, *she gestures* all this."

"Well... I might. I could. I... would. Unless you ask me not to, that is." "Do you really want to be seen that way?"

"It's fine by me."

*shakes head slowly* "You and your wall. You know, sentiments are allowed. And letting people know about them is not such a bad thing. You handle it with such distaste like it's a poison."

"Well, look who's talking." She eyes me over her coffee cup.

"Oh go ahead, it doesn't matter anyway. It's not like they even know who I am." she says with another careless wave.

Yes Mademoiselle. They don't know.

I really do have weird friends.