Why Do They Call It Crushes Anyway? Oh, THAT'S Why.

Mademoiselle says, "Fuck it all! I have GOT to stop self-sabotaging!"

I, stare.

I don't know why but I self-sabotage my chances with every guy I like. It's like I have no moderating system! But I can't help it! I am telling myself every day not to make the same mistakes I made during my third crush but here I am in danger of repeating it all again!

"I get all emo-like, I become quieter than usual around him and people start to think what the hell is wrong with her, why she suddenly so emo one? I shouldn't be doing that! I mean, before I liked him I was chattering away, trying to find things to talk about but now I tend to clam up a bit more. I can feel it. Things are changing! And I can feel it poisoning the relationship, affecting it in some sub-conscious way! No! I cannot do this to myself again! I swore I will never repeat the same mistakes I made with E and I'm going to keep by that. I need to keep by that.

When will I learn that being constantly emo is NOT the way to get a guy's attention??? Where did I even GET that silly notion in the first place??? It's like I woke up one day and BAM! I was operating on that system and it fucking sucks! It doesn't bloody work and it causes you all the more heartache and misery! This is so fucked up. MG!!! You gotta help me sort things out and put my life back together again! This is so screwed up I need to ex it. I need order again, I need sanity. And I need to learn to start operating like a normal girl instead of this weird, lousy system I'm on!"

Ok... Sure, Mademoiselle. I'll help. In any way I can. It's a crush. We all get a little bit silly when crushes come into the question after all.