Mademoiselle made an interesting observation about one of my friends the other day. W has always been somewhat the charming sort. Talks a mile a minute, affluent and it shows. There's a confidence in his swagger that makes itself known to those around him be it consciously or subconsciously.
But Mademoiselle had dismissively waved him off and said that he was a guy in denial. Someone who tries very hard to be a nice and understanding person and hides the parts of him that do not conform to those standards.
She said that W may not be a simple person but he isn't horribly complex either. She had him all figured out.
He knows what he should be and what he wants to be. The nice and understanding sort of friend. He tries very hard not to judge, although he cannot stop himself and therefore he keeps it silent and tries not to let it show although it still does somehow. He maintains a detachment to everything and everyone in his life besides his immediate family members and ties made with him are hardly ever as strong as it could be with another as he forgets easily. In a way, he prides himself of his apparent inscrutability and apathy. In another way he wants to be the good friend who's always there and he goes through the motions best he can although the fact of the matter is he doesn't really care a lot about a lot of people and it shows somehow.
In relation to his close friends, Mademoiselle had this to say with a nonchalant wave.
"W is a reasonably straight and honest guy. The only person he's not honest to is himself."
"How do you know all this?" I had asked her.
And she answered with a smirk. "Because I see a bit of myself in him although not nearly as pathetic. I'd like to think I have a bit more class to it than he does. And I am not as obvious either," she sneered.
"The fact that most have no idea is proof that it's working. Oh how those fools assume that they know all about me. But they don't even come close to understanding." She trilled with laughter.
Leaning back she added. "And also because most people are quite easily read. At least to me they are. Should I expend my precious attention on them. " She said with a smug smile.
Well, go Mademoiselle. *smiles* And she is right.
W and Sugar asked me once why I hesitate to tell them what was on my mind. It wasn't Sugar. I would've told her in an instant for I knew she would not think less of me. It was W I was worried about. Because I knew that although he would try very hard not to, he can't help it, he will judge me. And knowing that, I do not feel like talking to him about much or anything even. Total waste of energy and effort if you ask me.
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