The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

I was watching The Secret Life of Walter Mitty earlier today and at first, I thought it was just some ridiculous movie about a socially dysfunctional guy and his life and it was kind of sad actually. Pretty depressing even. It just had their aura of despondence and hopelessness like he was stuck in a rut and couldn't get out and all he had were his imaginations which was borderline an OCD.

But then I continued watching it somehow and I got it. I finally got it. It started making more sense and the message was clear at the end of the movie. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is a beautiful movie with a beautiful message.

It's about life, and the magic and beauty of experience. It is about experiences and how it shapes us as people, and how taking that step into the unknown, into taking adventures makes you grow as a person and into a full fledged PERSON. When it started out, Walter Mitty was a gray husk of a person. He hadn't been anywhere, he hadn't done anything of note and he had mad skills on a skateboard but he hadn't done anything about his skills either. Judging by his character it was probably a lack of confidence resulting in a lack of motivation coupled with a sense of pointlessness as he trudges on the hamster wheel of work every day. But when he finally took that large step into the unknown in search of Sean O'Connell and boarded that flight to Greenland, it wasn't apparent at first but little by little he changed. He wasn't that small hopeless man anymore who didn't have a voice and who didn't matter. He was a man. He was a man who finally found the courage to say what he needed to say and what he wanted to say. Towards the end of the movie he was more bedraggled, but neither was he gray anymore. Not by a long shot. It was like his whole aura shifted and he became a different person. It's not what is outside that makes a man, it's what is inside. And that movie teaches us that. It is about the magic of experience and the beauty of living and feeling and doing not just the everday things but the interesting things, the passionate driven things and the exhilarating things whatever they may be for us which in turn makes us grow into the people we were meant to be. Full of life and colour, character and personality. Walter Mitty grew through his adventures, he became a new man; he became a man. He wasn't stuck in his shell anymore, he'd outgrown it and he'd burst through it like a butterfly from a cocoon. There wasn't hopelessness anymore, there was opportunity. And that movie portrays that message with a quiet subtlety just like the way Sean O'Connell delivers his dialogue. Quietly, serenely, but hard-hitting.

Beautiful things don't ask for attention - Sean O' Connell.

Why Did I Have to Fall in Love?

It has been a thought that occurred to me for some time now in the midst of my emotional torment that is once again and always unrequited love. I don't know what is it about me that I always seem to care for someone who could never feel the same way for me. It has been a while since I have felt a "crush" and I have little doubt that it is possible that what I feel now, is love. I wonder if our feelings and the intensity of them thereof matures as we do. Where once I was a girl and was having crushes on people, now I fall in love. Unfortunate of course when that love happens to be unrequited but love nevertheless. 

I do not understand why and what I feel towards him. Only that it is truly inexplicable. He treats me with such little grace that one would be off put by the idea of falling in love with someone such as that. He is throughly, a bad idea less the fact that he does not love me back. And it is torment. Parts of me wish that he could while other parts of me feel a despair that he never could and they chase each other around in my head every day. Every smile he graces me with turns my hope around and only to send it dashing back to the ground. Every kind word sends me soaring but then every time it comes back to the same old spot same old story and rain starts pouring again. The truth is, I am not what he wants and I can never be. It hurts me to the core to think about everything that churns my mind around when thoughts of him come unbidden. It feels like a wrench is thrown into the workings of my heart and lodges there, refusing to set me free. But I love him. And I have never dared to say it to anyone, to admit it to anyone and I doubt I ever will. I have hidden that truth about what happened from everyone because I couldn't bear the recounting of that story. It always brings a hollow thud to my heart. Why did I have to fall in love?