We all sat in a circle on individual arm chairs, and we all sat in silence.
I could feel the quiet buzzing in the air, an electric tingle and prickle as I sat down and took in all that has come to pass. How things have changed. And I, for one, was stunned silent.
Mademoiselle sat languishing in shadow, the silver wisps curling slowly from her stick. The shiny black heels less shiny, the powerful polished veneer chipped and cracked at the surface. All that was once stark and bright about her seemed to have gone. The dominance and the certainty, faded into a mere shade and where it once gleamed like polished steel, now just seemed weak and plastic.
I looked over to where Missy sat, her head in her hands and the shine of tears in her eyes as she looked up at us both. The sun gleamed over her hair like a halo, illuminating every inch of her, bathing her in a warm golden glow. Such brilliance and I looked on sadly as a single tear fell from her eyes and slid down her cheek, dripping from her chin to land on her t-shirt.
I knew why she was crying. And why Mademoiselle looked on in silence. There was nothing she could do. There was nothing I could do. At least, I didn't think.
"What am I going to do?" Missy whimpered softly.
I squinted slightly as I looked at her, the glow too bright. Too bright.
"Mademoiselle, do something," she pleaded. Even her name fell flat on the tongue and ears.
Mademoiselle sighed and sat up, "There is nothing I can do Missy."
Missy shrank back into her halo and I felt a loss of control. Like things were out of my hands and they were slipping. Slipping every which way and where. Well, maybe they were. The strings I used to pull, that were taut in my grasp and that I manoeuvered swiftly and easily were now gone. As I looked down, feeling the absence of their familiar tension in my palms. It was all up in the air now. How had we come so far?
I looked at Missy, as she stared back at us with a slightly bewildered look in her eyes. She had never been in the spotlight this much before, in such a way and thus had never known the full extent of her potential. Neither had I. And as a result, I was reeling from the discovery. I looked down again and felt the familiar pang of my loss of control; and the bewilderment that followed it. Maybe once day we will all move out of this shock.
"We're learning quite a few things about ourselves aren't we," I intoned flatly.
"To put it lightly," Mademoiselle said weakly as she exhaled a thin stream that shot into the air and floated languidly, thinning out into nothing.
"I'm sorry guys... I'm sorry," Missy trembled and hugged herself, seemingly making herself smaller even as she glowed brilliantly against the sunlight. She looked particularly guiltily at Mademoiselle, sitting half-obscured in the shade.
I sat quietly, contemplating all that I have discovered. We had all learned much and all of us, had learned things we didn't like about ourselves.
"I can't believe I did all that. It was so disgraceful. I didn't know I could be so pathetic," Missy wept softly.
Until today I hadn't believed that Mademoiselle could fade so much into the shadows either. We surprise ourselves sometimes.
"It's ok Missy... It is what it is," I said resignedly.
"We all are weak in different ways," I continued. "And maybe you are weak, but so are we. There are things we all can't do."
We were all missing something. That's why we needed each other.
"Letting you take control was a disaster," Mademoiselle spat bitterly.
Missy turned away as silent tears coursed down.
"Look, she loved him and that's why we let her take over. It was a good thing," I said soothingly.
Mademoiselle just crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked hard at the both of us. "I told you nothing good would come out of it. Nothing."
I nodded, "Yes, it failed. But it was something that had to be tried." "Don't take it so hard, both of you."
Mademoiselle sniffed and turned away, taking a drag as she lounged on her seat. Missy just sighed heavily and bent forward, putting her head in her hands again as she tried to blot out the blinding light that was on her. But at least, she had stopped crying.
"We were in a rut before and now we're in a rut after," Mademoiselle muttered angrily. "I told you, her influence is degrading and destructive."
I glanced over at Missy who just sat there and stared solemnly at the ground, looking for all the world as if she agreed. But that was Missy.
"No, Mademoiselle, \" I sighed as I looked around at my friends who I have not seen in a few years. "We need her and you know it."
"I just say her decisions are unwise, that's all," she sniffed stubbornly.
"Yes, they may be unwise. But sometimes they're just the decisions we have to make," I said.
